Having the right people around you

Financesmiths recently wrote an article with the same title.

Basically, he talked about 2 different groups of friends he hanged out with, and how different the topics revolved.

Which is common for different groups of friends.

When we are with certain groups of people, topics tend to revolve around certain things and issues and also, as we age, and as we lead different lives and experience different things, our topics of conversation evolved.

Ever imagine you will talk to your secondary school friends about parenthood?

Or perhaps work related stuff with that batch of friends you attended classes with back in your university days?

Perhaps yes.

Or perhaps no.

We all grow up and experience new things. We meet new people and make new friends.

Similarly, my social life has evolved quite a bit. There are still friends from back in my primary school days that I still meet up with sporadically. Or even that group of travel friends when we first had our travel adventures when we were in university.

I am glad that most of these people are in my life. And I am grateful for that.

In that retrospect, I juxtapose this to Dave’s group of friends and my group of friends.

Dave and I do not have many common friends. In fact, our closest friends are separate groups.

If I have to describe, demographics of closest group of friends:

• mainly from middle-income or well to do family. All went to pretty good universities either locally or overseas
• Quite a few of us are married, almost all the married pairs have kids
• Pretty intelligent individuals, doing pretty well in their careers respectively, all earning a pretty decent salary.
• We have all owned our homes, some HDBs, some ECs

During our gatherings, the conversation will also include cars (like latest models etc – which I have absolutely no idea), watches (and they will sprout a few brands which I have never heard of), traveling (where our latest destinations are, and where we intend to go). Of course we do talk about mundane stuff like asking each other about our life, where we are, work, career, etc.

As for Dave, the demographics of his closet group of friends are as follow:

• Only attended university after they started working a few years, and most of them did it part time. (Kudos to them! I don’t know how I would manage)
• Got married pretty young, in fact, a few of them already had their kids started primary school – and they are about the same age as Dave (and Ally is only 2 years old!)
• Astute investors, they have a pretty sizable portfolio, invest in stocks, REITS, thinking about how to “make more money” and achieve financial independence

Of course, during their gatherings, they do talk about mundane stuff as well, such as catching up with each other’s lives etc. But one thing that they are constantly discussing is – how to come up with ways and means (obviously legally) to increase our income.

I am not saying that Group A is better than B, or vice-versa. However I note that at this stage, we are more selective of our closest groups of friends. Most people that we meet later in life, if not for a common passion, or interest, I highly doubt we will keep in touch.

For example, I joined a mummy group of friends when I was pregnant with Ally. I thought it would be a self-support group, since it was my first pregnancy, and I probably could get to hear some common concerns and also different points of views on how they cope in their situations.

6 months ago, I left the group.

I was bored. In fact, a lot of them talked about shopping, buying things for kids, or even frivolous stuff a lot. Which didn’t quite gel with me. Also, it was extremely annoying to have your whatsapp alerting you every now and then that you have received a new message.

I joined that group because I thought there were some common interests. I left the group, as I realised there were none.

Was it helpful? Yes to a certain extent. But our interests have diverted. And I have choosen to leave.

A little bit less noise in my life.